At psycHustle we want to be completely inclusive. We realize that our profession employs a diverse mix of individuals and we love and support you all! However, some recent events have made news that have, once again, put a spotlight on the struggles that women in the workforce face, and I think it's important to discuss this and for both men and women in our field to really understand how this impacts all of us. Equality should not be controversial.
As many of us have read in the news recently, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was accosted by a colleague on the steps of the capitol building. To be specific, she was called a "F****** B****" over a difference of opinion, among other insults (including crazy, how many of us have been called that one?). Regardless of our politics, we can agree that this is unacceptable and it highlights an ugly pattern in our nation's workforce of women being expected to tolerate verbal abuse and harassment. It highlights the ubiquitous influence of the patriarchy in our society and how it seeps into our professional lives. It demonstrates a continuing pattern of women being treated as if they are "less than" men... in talent, competency, and worthiness (and I am a mini Brene-level advocate of embracing our own worthiness!!). Against the background of the patriarchy, successful, intelligent, strong women present a threat. They shake up the status quo. And that, often times, elicits the verbal abuse and harassment that many of us female hustlers have been at the receiving end of at one point or another. Sometimes this kind of behavior by perpetrators is blatantly conscious, and other times it is unconscious and a result of generation after generation reinforcing these misogynistic attitudes and perspectives. I, myself, have been at the receiving end of this kind of harassment and have witnessed the lack of consequences facing male perpetrators. My assertive words have been misconstrued as b****y, in spite of male colleagues expressing themselves far less professionally with no one batting an eye. We've all experienced it and it exists in our field.
So what is our role in correcting this? It starts with us. We must remember that it is our role as mental health professionals/social workers to promote social justice. That means we can't look the other way and assume it will work itself out with time (how many centuries will it take?). Even though society is constantly telling us to shut up, it is the last thing we can do.
1. If you are on the receiving end of verbal abuse or harassment, speak up.
Assert yourself and address the behavior of the perpetrator. Let them know it's not acceptable. Additionally, inform your Human Resources Department of the incident and make sure a written report is filed. If the idea of speaking to your Human Resources Department makes you fearful for your job, consider whether the organization you are working for is conducive to your professional growth and in line with your values and ethics.
2. If you witness or are made aware of a female colleague falling victim to this kind of behavior/abuse and they are not reporting it, empower them to.
We're mental health professionals. Empowerment is a talent we're born with. Use it for positive systemic change. If your colleague doesn't understand why it's important to confront the abuse, or is afraid to, hit her with the facts. Offer to support her or accompany her to HR. Don't be complicit and look the other way. Engage her in discussion.
3. Don't overlook passive sexist behavior.
Even if you feel someone is not being intentionally sexist, identify and address their behavior. Does a male colleague (or client) call you a pet name (mama, sweetie are two that I have had to correct)? Is your assertiveness misconstrued as something it isn't, based on the fact that you are a female? Call this behavior out for what it is. Our ethics obligate us all to correct our own oppressive behavior, and collectively work towards a more equal society. That means we should ALL be willing to engage in some introspection (no one is an exception, management doesn't get a free pass). If perpetrators within the organization are not willing to acknowledge and correct their behavior, and no consequences befall them, again consider if your ethics and values align with the organization and if, perhaps, it is time to explore other opportunities.
4. Be a rebel in your own daily life.
Practice radical self-love. Love yourself and all that you offer as a bada*s, female hustler despite society trying to undermine your worth. Embrace your worth and reject anything that threatens it. Practice self care in spite of the crap society feeds us about it being selfish. And HUSTLE. Pursue that dream business, or dream position. Ask for the promotion. Ask for the raise. Identify and address imposter syndrome (will discuss in separate post). You got this! For more on radical self-love, I would highly recommend listening to Kara Lowentheil's Unf**k Your Brain Podcast. Episode 143 discuss radical self-love and how engaging in this practice helps to break down oppressive systems and gives us the mental freedom to impact serious change.
For reference, here is the video of the response to the verbal abuse that Rep. Ocasio Cortez gave on the House floor yesterday:
Of course there is more we can do, this is only a guide to kickstarting shifts on a micro-level. As we make these adjustments, we can consider ways of advocating for equality on a larger scale. Luckily we have an amazing community to support us all in doing that!
Love, your Hustler,
Karina G.
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