Lately, I have noticed that a popular topic in therapy is "how do I become more disciplined?".
My theory is that COVID caused a great deal of influence in people wanting to achieve entrepreneurial goals, as they got laid off, relocated to remote work, or had more alone time to think about their dreams. Not only that, but those who immerse themselves in social media constantly came across different variations of the "How To Make Money ONLINE" entrepreneurial movement (and saw it come true).
The thing with "self-disciple" is that it can be talked about in a therapy session, but there is little a therapist can do to ensure you wake up at a specific time of the day or complete your excruciating to-do list. A lot of the effort, if not all of it, needs to come from you.
To put it simply, the details of your routines are the backbone of your success. Therefore, the day you decide your success is a #1 priority, your way of living needs to change. That means that you have to be willing to feel uncomfortable and sacrifice things that may be important for you today.
Now, self-discipline is not something that happens overnight. Instead, the development of a disciplined mindset takes time, concentration, and perseverance. So before even thinking about your "end goal," you should focus on reinforcing your habits to be similar to those who are successful in your field of interest. Typically, that comes down to having a specific routine or at least daily practices that are relevant to the end goal.
On another note, what a therapist CAN do for you, is help you put together a plan that can keep you accountable throughout your course.
For that reason, I have created a seven-step plan to help you stay accountable with your journey on building your discipline muscle.
Set realistic and clear goals. You have to describe your current objectives (what you are doing now) and your goals (the big fish) as a job description. Focus on articulating what you are doing and where you are going so clearly and concisely that anyone could understand you.
Have a plan. Make the necessary time to break down your path into steps. Create a sequence of how things should (ideally) move along. Please don't fixate on it, but use it as guidance.
Anticipate potential problems and have a back for each. Make sure to use objective lenses when it comes to identifying what could go wrong. For example, if your self-discipline plan involves sticking to a diet and knowing you have a big family with lots of celebrations, you must have a backup plan for that.
STOP negotiating with yourself. When you begin to justify and bargain with yourself, you are at risk of losing it all. If your goal is to wake up at 6 am, and when the alarm goes off, you justify all of the reasons why you need extra sleep, then the game is over for you. It would be best to stop yourself right away and focus on doing, not thinking about doing.
Remember your WHY. What matters to you in the big picture should be your daily mantra. When temptation flashes her sexy eyes at you, you must be willing to help yourself by reminding yourself why you are doing what you are doing. Hence, prepare your list of reasons.
Make another list of what exactly will bring you back if you lose track of things. For instance, if your goal is to get a job at a corporation, you slowed down on applications after rejection because you feel sad. Then, think of what are things you can do to fuel your motivation again. A few good ones could be 1) talking to people that make you feel good about yourself, 2) listening to motivational speeches of people that have failed and still made it, and 3) practicing affirmations.
Note your accomplishments and track your progress. You must track how well you are doing and give yourself a well-deserved bravo regularly. Ensure that your mind is a happy, safe, and fair place. Be careful not to fall into excessive criticism as it can be a motivational killer. Instead, give yourself rewards and reassurance, and you will see how you will stay inspired to keep the ball rolling.
If you want to unfold your true potential, remember that all it takes is that you are open and willing to train your mind. And more importantly, that you BELIEVE that this work and process is possible for you.
Note that you will feel tired throughout the journey of training your self-discipline muscle and maybe not excited to complete your tasks-- and that's okay. Your discipline will be tested more often than not, but remember that the goal is to win against yourself.
Stay mindful and strong-minded! You got this!
Sincerely,
Daniela M. LMHC
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