Wondering if you are a “good therapist?" Or whether there are things you are failing to do? Or maybe whether there are things you could be doing better?.
Today I share with you some significant qualities that make a good therapist. In the meantime, just make sure you give yourself some praise, since if you are on this page right now, it is because you want to make sure you are great and also because you are willing to improve, and that right there, is absolutely amazing! Keep up the hard work and always always believe in your potential to be the best.
Let's get the list started!
#1. POSITIVE & CARING APPROACH TO SITUATIONS
Here is where the so famous “unconditional positive regard” comes into play. Perhaps, you will see no immediate effect or relief in your client after something (you’d think meaningful) that you said in today’s session. Though, you will notice your client’s appreciation of your services, and their willingness to do the work when they feel understood in a caring manner and without judgment. THAT is what your clients will remember and value the most from their sessions. It sounds very simple, but I cannot emphasize enough how important this is.
#2. STRONG COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Know that one of your #goals, as a therapist, is becoming an effective listener (the best). And let me just emphasize this keyword, “BECOME.” Communication skills (especially the ones that apply to being a good listener) are not innate, they are acquired and developed. To be a good listener you need to engage your senses, body language (mirroring, eye contact, open demeanor), cognitions (comprehension and retention of information), and your whole spirit. Active listening will not only benefit your client, but it will help you grasp deeper meaning and understanding of your client’s situation. Also, Embrace the silence. Many of my professors would tell me that there was “magic work” happening in those (sometimes awkward) moments of silence. Moreover, do not forget to use our much needed counseling “micro-skills;” Make active use of Paraphrasing & reflective listening.
You can encourage your client to tell you more about their story by:
Asking open-ended questions (by using “Why, Where, How, When”)
Guiding your client throughout disclosure (to ensure clarification). If they lose track of their story or did not address one part properly, ask them confidently, “Do you want to tell me more about ____” “What do you mean by _____” “Why don’t you tell me more about ______” “I’m still trying to understand ____”
Encouraging introspection by asking questions like “What seems to be the main obstacle?” “What emotions do you encounter when you tell this story?” “Why do you think things went wrong?” “How have you reacted to similar situations in the past?”
Using reflection of feelings, reflection of meaning, & paraphrasing. These techniques allow your client to “hear” their own statements, encourage them to reach deeper meaning of their story, and feel understood. Reflective techniques are statements that match the client’s experience; hence, endorsing congruency between you and your client. Examples for reflection of feeling include, “It seems that when you talk about ____ you experience negative emotions,” “You mentioned feeling less pressured when _____,” “It sounds like ______ makes you feel discouraged,” “You feel ____ when you ___.” Reflection of meaning depends on the context of the conversation. Your job is to suggest statements that stimulate the search of deeper meaning (think of the words: value, intentions, importance, meaningful). For example, “It seems that _______ is very important to you.” “I hear that you find value in ______.”
Paraphrasing is simple, just slowly and softly repeat one of your client’s statement (a meaningful one, and stay in silence afterwards). For example, “The more you lay in bed the more depressed you get…”
Using encouragers. These are minute responses that you provide to let your client know that you are present and that it is OK to continue to share. You can say, “right” “I hear you” “I see” “mm-hmm” “I understand” “I’m listening” “It’s okay…”
BONUS TIP: Do not be afraid to (nicely) interrupt your client when you need to redirect/refocus the conversation. “Let’s slow down for a second, and go back to _____,” “I see that there are several topics you want to share, but why don’t we pick one for today’s session,” “What if we let this topic for the next session and retake the conversation about _____ for the rest of today’s session,” “Although I want to hear more about ____ I am still trying to understand how _____, do you mind telling me more about that?"
#3. AUTHENTICITY
BE YOURSELF! Yes, you must follow all the rules and ethical codes, but nobody said that you are not allowed to add a sparkle of you in it. If you are moved by a client’s story, tell them, “I cannot deny that your story moved me… what you went through was quite harsh.” If you think their trauma history is beyond your tolerance level that day, tell them, “I am wanting to hear more of that, but let’s take it step-by-step, I want us both to be ready to get through it.”
Also, you cannot expect your client to feel comfortable and be completely vulnerable with you if you are wearing the “perfect human” mask all the time. BE REAL, BE (an imperfect) HUMAN, BE YOU! Your clients are going to go back to your sessions and recommend you because of who YOU are, what YOU offer in sessions, and the bond YOU create with them. Create a balance between authenticity and professionalism, and trust me, when you let go of perfectionism, you will find that person.
> Note: If your client does not feel comfortable with who you are, then, it is in their best interested to find a therapist that meets their needs.
#4. APPLY WORK ETHICS WITH CONFIDENCE
As mental health professionals, we must take pride that our field is guided by ethical & legal codes. These codes are based on values that we all share as counselors/mental health workers. The code of ethics includes regulations to honor and respect our careers as well as our clients.
The main organizations that have developed reliable codes of ethics include:
American Counseling Association (https://www.counseling.org/knowledge-center/ethics )
American Mental Health Counselors (https://www.amhca.org/HigherLogic/System/DownloadDocumentFile.ashx?DocumentFileKey=24a27502-196e-b763-ff57-490a12f7edb1&forceDialog=0)
National Board of Certified Counselors (https://www.nbcc.org/Assets/Ethics/NBCCCodeofEthics.pdf)
National Association of Social Workers (https://www.socialworkers.org/About/Ethics/Code-of-Ethics/Code-of-Ethics-English)
American Psychological Association (https://www.apa.org/ethics/code)
#5. APPROPRIATE KNOWLEDGE & KNOW WHEN TO APPLY IT
An accurate understanding of diagnosis, prognosis, treatment plans, disorders, assessments, etc. is IMPERATIVE. At the same time, you must know when to apply this knowledge.
Be objective not mechanical. Do not go into your first sessions with clients eager to diagnose them (unless it is for insurance purposes; then you must assess for diagnoses). Yes, a diagnosis will cover your client’s services, help you develop a treatment plan, and have an idea of tools and approaches that you can use in sessions. Yet, the actual therapeutic work goes beyond a DSM-5 code. You are going to truly target your client’s treatment needs once the relationship unfolds and your client feels comfortable exposing the root of their vulnerabilities. Please NEVER limit your client (or your sessions) to an ICD-10/DMS5 code.
See through the “counseling” eyes. Unlike psychology and other medical practices, counseling is not based on the medical model (or disease model). Instead, we consider the client as a “whole”person, including their mental, physical, physiological, emotional, spiritual, and environmental factors. We believe that clients can reach their best potential through wellness, growth, and development. We see through their illness and their pathology to help thrive. We believe that we are a tool of hope and encouragement. The most effective counseling practices are based on holistic practices and wellness models. And what does that mean? That when a client walks through the door, we DO NOT think of them as, “There is something wrong with you (e.g. illness/pathology/problem). You are here to get labeled for it and get it under control; I must find tools I can give you to fix it. Instead, we think, “You are a complete person and I am going to guide you through your journey of reaching your full potential. Together we will find opportunities for wellness”.
Know what resources you have in your community & USE THEM. Before you choose to purchase an expensive assessment to provide to your clients to assess diagnoses or levels of care, reach out to resources in your community. Many times they can assess clients free of cost, and determine what type of treatment they can benefit from.
#6. TRUST YOUR HEALING POWER
Having self-confidence as well as the genuine desire to help others are the most beautiful and impressive attributes a therapist can have.
I hope you found this post helpful.
Your Hustler,
Daniela M
Resource: Counseling micro-skills https://www.sulross.edu/sites/default/files/sites/default/files/users/docs/education/counseling-microskills_4.pdf
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